*This week I plan to be a bit old fashioned and consult my astral charts and my telescope to help you with your astrological potential.
Capricorn: You haven't been calling people back lately!
Aquarius: You may get a hankering for seafood.
Pisces: You are ready to relentlessly spy on your neighbors again.
Aries: Why don't you scour your bathroom floors?
Taurus: You are busy planning exciting fall activities.
Gemini: You will exact revenge on a retail employee.
Cancer: You will put on a hoodie and go running. Long distance running, cross country running.
Leo: You will experience your first cold of the season, don't squander tissue paper.
Virgo: This is a good week to glut yourself on reality T.V.
Libra: You will consider licking spilled milk from the floor.
Scorpio: Something in the woods will spook you.
Sagittarius: You will be busy planning for your fantasy football league.