*In honor of Labor Day, I am announcing the profession you should have had according to some very complicated star charts of mine.
Capricorn: (Hogwarts Instructor) This combines your need to teach with your fine appreciation of magic.
Aquarius: (Dolphin Trainer) You love the water by nature and can tolerate huge aquatic creatures.
Pisces: (Soda Vending Machine Person) You don't have to deal with annoying people and you have an addiction to caffeine.
Aries: (Franchise Owner) You like to boss get high on power and enjoy bossing around minimum wage people.
Taurus: (Missionary) You can visit far off places and spread your message.
Gemini: (Librarian) You hate people and love books.
Cancer: (Disney Movie Character) You like singing, talking animals, and magic.
Leo: (Reality T.V. Star) You enjoy attention and wouldn't mind loading up on freebies and hosting night club gigs.
Virgo: (Garbage/Recycling Dude) This job would teach you to recycle correctly.
Libra: (Shopping/Lunching Wife) You prefer to spend your days swiping your credit card, taking yoga, and gossiping over lunch cocktails.
Scorpio: (Cattle Rancher) You like the great outdoors and have a secret adventurous side.
Sagittarius: (Professional Sports Player) You love sports and wouldn't mind the money that came from playing them well.