Hottest Pick Up Joint in Town

Where do you think would be a good place for illicit solicitation? Well, if you're in Georgia, it's obviously McDonald's. They have a lot of business, are in a prime location, and provide cheap food to keep up your stamina. If you're confused about what kind of solicitors I'm talking about, I think Steve Buscemi in The Wedding Singer sums it up best: I guess they were prostitutes, but I don't remember paying.

I was fascinated by these ladies. They always wore animal prints as a sort of identifying uniform. They were cheerful and busy. The cops were often there, but more to enjoy the goods rather than to arrest. Sometimes it's hard to imagine that most McDonald's in America are not marketplaces for harlotry. They do peddle heart attacks, obesity, and cow flesh, but that's not really the same.

Aside from watching them raptly out the car window, I didn't really have much interaction with these ladies, except once during my senior year of school. A few of us in this volunteering club had gotten permission to go off campus and help at the Special Olympics. We finished pretty early and decided to skip school and go to the beach, only to return for the end of the last period. When we got to the parking lot, we noticed the prostitutes had gone on a migration. They were walking down past the school! Some of the male school athletes were leaving early for games and the ladies were calling to them "Hey y'all...". I happened to notice that one of the ladies in leopard skin was actually a transvestite. I was ecstatic because it meant some equal opportunity really could exist in a small town!

There was a lazy cop that monitored the school parking lot and he urged my friends and I to go into the school, so I will never really know what happened next. I hope it was something really seedy and outrageous. I guess a group of do gooder girls coming back from volunteering at the Special Olympics and/or tanning at the beach couldn't be witnesses to the debauchery.

A lot has time has passed since then and I'm sure the McDonald's there is now just an ordinary fast food place, but I will never forget those ladies in leopard, cheetah, and zebra.