When Animals Attack: The Chinchilla

When I was a kid, I loved the mall. To be honest, I still really love the mall. I have no idea why, I guess I'm just part of that mall rat generation. Right now, I favor children's clothing stores because I consider my daughter my own personal Barbie, but as a kid, the pet store was the most alluring shop for me.

When I was 8, I happened upon the most curious animal I had ever seen in a pet store. It was a chinchilla. I could tell from looking at it that it would be soft and cuddly and I was drawn to it like a magnet. I approached it reverently. I had never seen or heard of such a creature before so it must have some sort of magical quality about it. He looked at me calmly and I felt we were making a deep mystical connection. Looking at the price tag, I knew he could never be mine, but we would still have this time together. Finally the soft appeal of the fur got to be too great and I had to feel it for myself. I reached out tentatively and touched its behind. He didn't seem to mind so I decided to pet it more boldly. This chinchilla was my new furry friend! Suddenly he made a rude squeak, did a half flip to face me, then sank his massive fangs deep into my finger!

I was absolutely stunned that a bosom buddy would treat me this way. Being 8, my eyes starting tearing up very quickly. The bored clerk looked over at me and said "Oh yeah, those things bite. Didn't you read the sign?" I just turned around and stalked out dejectedly. Obviously chinchillas are no friends of mine.

I haven't seen one since, but if I do, it's definitely on my flip off list.