When Animals Attack: Canadian Goose

This is actually a more recent attack story and one I'm not likely to forget for years. It happened last summer when I was taking the kids for a walk around the Beaver Pond at a nature preserve. It was a nice day and we were picking blackberries. I had my youngest in her Baby Bjorn. We went over to look at the water and see all the little fish swimming around when I heard this very strange hiss. My first thought was: cobra. After realizing that there aren't cobras in my neck of the woods, I did a quick turn and saw a Canadian Goose rapidly approaching us from around the corner. I saw rage in it's beady little eyes.

I've never been fond of this creature. They come in huge flocks and leave shit everywhere. I tried to listen to Ralph Nader speak in college and there were hundreds of them squawking and partying while I was trying to listen to the loudspeakers at the campus pond. They walk in my neighborhood like they are entitled to it all. So with all this hatred for them festering inside me, I wasn't happy to see one coming straight at me and my kids now.

I told my son quietly to start walking quickly, but calmly. Of course, being nearly 5, he bolted off saying "Run for your lives!". I picked up a stick on the ground and had one eye on that feathered demon and one eye on the path ahead. Eventually this goose couldn't walk so fast so he slipped down into the water to stalk me aqua style. He was still following me with the blackest look I had ever seen. I kept one arm protectively around my baby and the other firmly on my makeshift weapon. Was I prepared to stab this bird in the neck? Yes.

Some people were now on the path coming towards me and I told them that there was an enraged Canadian Goose after me and that they should leave. They just laughed, but I wondered how much English they really understood especially with me shoving all those frantic words together. That stupid bird didn't even give them one look, but continued to speed after me.

Eventually we got out of the Beaver Pond area, into the woods. The goose decided to stop the chase, I guess. My son was dancing around, happy as a clam in July. This near avian death experience was exciting for him. All my thoughts were focused on how dangerous those birds can be and that I had children with me. It's one thing to be a foolish kid and mess with wild animals, but it's another to be surprised by one as a rational adult who generally leaves animals alone. I am still grateful that bird decided not to fly at us, just chase us away.

I learned later that I probably got too close to a nest that I didn't see and the goose was just protecting it. Whatever the reason, I now both hate and fear the Canadian Goose, and yes, it's definitely on my flip off list. I just flipped off a whole family crossing the road just the other day!