Monday, July 6, 2009

Your Weekly Horoscope

*Here are some magic plants that will help maximize your astrological potential this week. Try them in food, tea, or as a decoration.

Capricorn: (Anise Seed) This will help with possible digestive ailments.

Aquarius: (Liquorice) Good for your nagging cough.

Pisces: (Nutmeg) This will tame your crazy headaches.

Aries: (Spearmint) You will feel a little less queasy about your life choices.

Taurus: (Lemon Balm) Stop all those curious fevers.

Gemini: (Burdock Leaves) Annihilate that gout!

Cancer: (Thyme) Make bathtime fun.

Leo: (Mouse Ear) Great for obstructions in the veins or weirdly growing moles.

Virgo: (Ash Bark) Will be effective against rattlesnake bite.

Libra: (Liverwort) You can finally tackle your consumption.

Scorpio: (Raspberry Leaves) This will help with those annoying cankers.

Sagittarius: (Apple Tree Bark) Gives you great strength.


Frances said...

LOL! What if I don't have cankers???

Jessica said...

Your cankers may be erupting soon. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I have gout if that's any consolation.

Anonymous said...

I hate when you can't get the plastic lid off the top of the ice cream tub. That is a real crisis in my house.