Sunday Fun

My husband has been on call this last week so it means lots of work. He's working all day and all night at the office or working from home. This weekend, he had someone cover him for a couple of hours for my son's soccer game, but as soon as he got home, it was back to the basement for conference calls and whatever it is he actually does. I'm not too computer literate. He types in all these random letters and screens fly. It's like magic and there is no way I could ever do something like that. Since it's the weekend both kids are home and it's always loud and crazy so I took them out so that he could work a little in peace.

I took the kids to what I call the "brunch special". We go to a buffet restaurant at around 10:45 am. You pay the cheaper breakfast prices, but manage to get some breakfast and then the lunch they start putting out at 11:00. Like Hannah Montana says; it is the best of both worlds. Apparently, I wasn't the only one with that bright idea. The lines were huge and the place was packed and I was wrangling two kids. It still worked out O.K. I got my son set up to eat and then hustled to get plates for my daughter and I. A buffet is the best place for my kids because my toddler is antsy to eat soon and my son has turned pretty picky. There was one moment where I had to bribe my toddler with an ice cream cone so that my son and I could actually finish our meal. I don't feel guilty about bribing with junk food, but I do feel guilty about not feeling guilty.

After the brunch special, we went to the mall next door. Taking both kids there is like herding unruly sheep. Each wanting to go their own way at different paces. My daughter hates the stroller and I often find my son trying to sit his 6 year old behind down in it. We make a compromise; one store for me and one store for them. They still climb under racks and roll around on the floor. I should probably never take them anywhere except vacant fields, but I'm part of the mall generation and it calls to me like a siren. I've learned to deflect dirty looks about my bad parenting and my crazy kids. Yes, my toddler likes to lie on her belly and pretend to swim and my son likes to play spy behind displays. I wish they could stand like frozen statues next to me, but I've had 6 years of rowdiness with no tranquility, so I'm not holding my breath.

We had one fun experience at a Lego table. My kids were sitting playing with other kids. This one little boy went a little crazy with a chair and hit this other kid. The mom hears her kid crying and saying "chair". My daughter happened to be having fun pulling her chair out and then pushing it back in and so this woman assumed it was my daughter hitting her beloved baby with the chair. She said "Honey, you don't hit other children with chairs" and then as an aside to her husband "That's why we actually watch our kids". The funny thing is, she didn't watch her kid when he got hurt and I was there the whole time. I said "It wasn't my kid, lady" then I put my hand in my pocket to secretly flip her off and then told my kids it was time to go. My son said "May May didn't do that!" as we were walking away.

She was the exact type of mom that I can't stand. Upper middle class, generally blonde, khakis/crisp shirt, talks to her kid in some weird super mom voice, and has a stick up the ass. I've been told by many people (including my own husband) that I have class issues. I do readily admit to them. Even with a college education and a rise in income brackets, I can't seem to scrub that white trash feeling out of my soul. I instantly dislike people that were probably preps in high school. I hate moms who still act like being with other moms is just an extension of a snobby high school clique. It's certainly the reason I have problems with some of the ladies in my neighborhood and why I reacted in serious anger to the lady in Carter's. If I could find a playgroup in a trailer park, I'd be perfectly content. I'm a square peg in a suburban hole.

We had one more jolly time at the Halloween store. They have this broom that comes alive with spooky sounds and music when you pass it. I didn't see it until it activated itself right on my little girl. It really terrified her. She already calls the store "spooky world" and once the broom started to follow her, she started to cry and say "No like spooky world! Go home." My son and I love Halloween, but I'm thinking that we'll have to scale back our visits to Spooky World because my daughter was traumatized by an animated broom.

That was my exciting Sunday so far. It's nap time, Cartoon Network, engineering magic, and rot on the computer time for the family now. I'm grateful for this blog so that I can complain about bitchy ladies at the Carter's Outlet and laugh about myself. Thanks for reading!