Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Everyone Else Is Doing It...

That is my cat, Sweetie. I did not name her that and I really do not like cutesy names for pets. I prefer food or historical figures for names so I try to call her Sweet Tea when possible. She came to us at 5 and now she is nearly 12. As you can see, she is huge and eats loads.

When we got her, we were told she was fixed and lived all of her life indoors. When we first moved to our town home, she was desperate to go outside. As soon as we let her out, she ran straight into the Compost Woods. My husband and I were terrified because we thought we had lost her forever. My father-in-law couldn't stop laughing at us shouting into the trees for her because he said that "cats always find their way back home". She did find her way back home a few hours later and now spends 75% of her time in those woods.

For a spayed cat, she gets around. I have personally witnessed her having relations with two toms. The sit under our box window and cry for her at night. I thought that once animals are sterile they are not interested in adult activities, but apparently Sweetie is the exception to the rule. Whatever makes her happy, right? At least I never have to worry about litters of kittens.

Sweetie is a magnificent huntress. She generally will eat the majority of her kill. Sometimes there will be a stray eyeball on the sidewalk or a jawbone, but she really likes eating it all. I'm relieved because I'm not too fond of cleaning up carcasses. She goes after big game like rabbits and raccoons and most recently has been stalking our werewolf.

*Just as an aside, apparently there is a new bald fox in our woods. I'm not sure if this is true or just a figment of my husband's imagination. I will have to see it for myself because that will mean two werewolves, one knocked up and one hairless. The undead party continues to grow in the Compost Woods.

My cat is that mostly hates kids. She and my son have a distant civil relationship, but Sweetie with my daughter is a bad mix. My daughter can't seem to leave her alone and instead of running away, Sweetie will box the hell out of my kid's face. I hate to say it, but sometimes my own pet is on my flip off list.

She is strangely devoted to my husband. She drinks the drops of water leftover from the bath. She sleeps next to him and gets angrily possessive if anyone gets near him. He thinks that she is a wife from a former life.

I figure people like cats. Masses of people follow blogs about cats so this is my pathetic attempt to garner more readers. I may or may not be joking about this. There is nothing remotely adorable about this cat and I think that people prefer blogs about adorable cats. She's a sex maniac, a consummate hunter, and a vicious hater of children. I guess I'm rather proud of her and maybe you'll hear from Sweet Tea again.


Daisy said...

Ah, I think every cat is a good cat. Sweetie seems, er, very special.

Jessica said...

Hi Daisy!!! It's an honor to have to comment here. You are the bestest cat blog around! Thanks for stopping by, Sweetie also says thanks for saying she is special.

mandatorybloghere said...

i love cats !

Jessica said...

Mandatory, I love monster trees and you love cats! It really works out well.